It was my father who wanted a physician for a son, I didn’t nurse the idea of becoming a doctor – not with my nonconformist nature which sees the wearing of ties in a tropical region such as Nigeria as a colonial mentality. I’ve never seen a doctor who doesn’t wear ties. Have you? Of the few occasions I had to noose my neck with a tie, I chose the breathable bowtie and the neckerchief. Though a man of sartorial elegance I am, I never wore a tie in all my 17 years of reportorial journalism with PUNCH newspapers.
I never fancied the studied and serious nature of many a doctor – wearing a frown at every cough, reading meaning into every sneeze, and acting like they were the ones who gifted God the dust with which He created Adam. But I admire their perspicaciousness, nonetheless.
Believe me, the hypocrite is more dangerous than the robber because while salvation is attainable for a repentant robber, repentance for the hypocrite is hypocrisy. I tell you what; you never know with a hypocrite.
Hippocrates of Kos in Greece is regarded as the Father of Medicine though medicine practice started many years before he was conceived. Hippocrates’ practice upheld observation of clinical signs and rational conclusions over religious and magical beliefs. Hippocrates, who lived between 460 and 370 BCE, wrote an oath of ethics to be sworn to by physicians worldwide. He was Iater lionised and his oath was called the Hippocratic Oath.
This is the Hippocratic Oath, “I swear by Apollo Healer, by Asclepius, by Hygieia, by Panacea, and by all the gods and goddesses, making them my witnesses, that I will carry out, according to my ability and judgement, this oath and this indenture.
“To hold my teacher in this art equal to my own parents; to make him partner in my livelihood; when he is in need of money to share mine with him; to consider his family as my own brothers, and to teach them this art, if they want to learn it, without fee or indenture…
“…I will do no harm or injustice to my patients. Neither will I administer a poison to anybody when asked to do so, nor will I suggest such a course. Similarly, I will not give to a woman a pessary to cause abortion…
“Into whatsoever houses I enter, I will enter to help the sick, and I will abstain from all intentional wrongdoing and harm…I will never divulge patients’ medical secrets…Now if I carry out this oath, and break it not, may I gain forever reputation among all men for my life and for my art; but if I break it and forswear myself, may the opposite befall me.”
In 2011 when Italian and Manchester City striker, Mario Balotelli, angled a right-footer scraping the vertical pole into the floor of the net, against Manchester United in a Manchester derby, he revealed his undershirt, which screamed, “Why Always Me?”
Why did I use doctors as my talking point when this article is about the unprofessional conduct of medical staff in general? It’s because Nigerian doctors, to the chagrin of other professionals, especially pharmacists, consider themselves kings in the palace of medicine. As kings, therefore, they should bear the uneasiness that lies the head that wears the crown.
I have no issues with the Hippocratic Oath for I see culture and tradition as scaffold and fluorescent uplifting and illuminating work and worship, among many other societal values. But a jailbird and serial criminal king, who parades himself as an Emir in Yorubaland, fails to see the correlation between culture and tradition, and work and worship.
Many Nigerian Christian and Muslim clerics are also as blind as Abdulrashidi, the ex-convict king nabbed and jailed in the US for Yahoo-Yahoo in 1998, before fleeing back to Nigeria to blunt the beaks of the ancient parrots called Odíderé and desecrate the throne.
If the Emir of Iwo would live up to his reputation of hating idolatry, he shouldn’t allow himself to be treated by medical doctors who have all sworn to the Hippocratic Oath, which extols a mere mortal as the Father of Medicine and also glorifies gods and goddesses over God.
Worldwide, the Hippocratic Oath has undergone many reviews to reflect indigenisation but it remains the Hippocratic Oath – the same way the Holy Bible and the Holy Quran remain the holy scriptures despite revisions. In the same way, books on satanism would remain satanism scriptures despite revisions. The Emir of Iwo vilifies traditional religion worshippers but seeks medical care from doctors who swore to foreign gods and goddesses.
As I said early on, there’s nothing wrong in the oath because it’s just an affirmation of Greek socio-cultural belief – just like the Egungun, Mmanwu, and Dodo symbolise the cultural beliefs of the Yoruba, Igbo and Hausa respectively in masqueraders.
Despite the weightiness of the Hippocratic Oath and the various oaths sworn to by other medical professionals upon graduation, many Nigerian public and private hospitals have become slaughter slabs heeling the infirm to their graves instead of healing them to go home.
Cases of deaths and maiming of patients resulting from negligence or inaction by medical professionals nationwide are ubiquitous. Medical professionals have become a law unto themselves. Despite the omnipresent nature of this scourge, however, there’s no virile ombudsman for victims or their relatives to seek redress. Cases of deaths, maiming, misdiagnosis and mistreatment by medical professionals are mostly swept under the carpet across the country.
It’s in Nigerian hospitals that nurses and midwives would be heard yelling at a pregnant woman in labour, saying, “Why you dey shout nah? When you dey enjoy am, you call me?” It’s an open secret that Nigeria’s healthcare infrastructure is in tatters but most of our medical practitioners exhibit the coldness of a butcher in an abattoir.
One evening, about 35 years ago, I crawled up to a dentist at the parking lot of then-Ikeja General Hospital, Lagos. He was already in his car, having closed for the day. I made to talk but he motioned to me not to, seeing how swollen my right cheek was, like that of a boxer who had just fought an opponent above his weight category. I could hardly see. Instead of telling me to come the next day, he ordered an orderly to wheel me to the operating room. After a few hours, he got the decaying molar out and asked me how I got to the hospital. This tribe of medical practitioners is certainly no more in Nigeria.
Speaking with me in an interview, a Nigerian-American medical doctor practising in the US, Dr Laolu Odofin, offers insights into medical practice in America.
She said, “Because Americans know their rights, they tend to be litigious; they are quick to go to court. Because the courts guarantee justice, patients know they would be in money if they won their cases. Because of the big money involved in medical shoddiness, law firms are ready to represent patients free of charge, willing to take a percentage of the damages awarded eventually.
“Any death occurring within 24 hours of the patient being brought to hospital must be reported to the state coroner for autopsy and investigation. Even if the patient dies within 24 hours of being brought in from any kind of accident, an autopsy must be done, and the death investigated.”
Odofin, a graduate of UNILORIN, explained that any complaint by a patient, relative or even a junior colleague would be investigated by the hospital, or state hospital board, and could lead to inviting the police if the offence borders on criminal neglect or abuse.
She said, “Even in toilets, there are phone numbers on the walls to call if the toilets are not clean enough. In America, patients can call to speak with the management head at any time. Hospital operations are real-time online, everything you do to your patient is recorded in real-time, you can’t falsify records. The moment a patient is admitted, all the treatments s/he gets are computerised and the documentation is shared across the board. At their stations, every health professional working in a hospital can access patients’ records for the patients’ purposes.”
The Medical and Dental Consultants Association of Nigeria is the body saddled with ensuring professional discipline among doctors and dentists. However, the gale of complaints against doctors and dentists appears to overwhelm the body. Also, cases of shoddiness resulting in deaths or maiming are more often than not swept under the carpet by hospitals. A few state commands of the Nigerian Police have personnel trained in medical investigation, thereby making thorough medical investigation a big challenge and autopsy is not mandatory for deaths within 24 hours in Nigerian hospitals.
Odofin said, “The clothes hospitals give to patients must be at a certain room temperature. If you don’t get it right, they will sue you. When the patient is discharged, you trash the clothes and towels. That you’re a doctor doesn’t mean you can prescribe controlled substances such as opiates, codeine etc. For you to do so, you must apply to the Drug Enforcement Agency yearly.”
Chai, the bloods we’re sharing, diaris God o!
Email: tundeodes2003@yahoo.com
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